CORRECTIONS

❝Errata et Absurdia: The Mirror Regrets Nothing❞

by Bartholomew K. “Batty” Fenn

May 2 Corrections Column:

• In our last issue, we stated that the American Dream was “briefly sighted near a Sonic Drive-In in Tulsa.” This was incorrect. It was later identified as a vape cloud coming from the nearby 420 Shop.
• We reported that Vice President J.D. Vance “is the 2025 manifestation of Li’l Abner.” We regret this implication. We have since learned Li’l Abner had stronger convictions and more realistic economic policy.
• A recent diagram labeled “How to Survive Late-Stage Capitalism” contained no actual survival steps. This was not an error but a metaphor. There are no ways to survive this. You’re welcome.
• Our coverage of the presidential AI summit mischaracterized the agenda. We stated that “machines are learning faster than humans.” The summit’s actual concern was that humans are not learning at all.
• The Motherhood Medal of Freedom is not legal tender, although it can be traded for canned peaches in most FEMA zones.
• We published an article titled “Fertilization Nation: A Love Letter to Forced Birth and Economic Forecasting.” The term “love letter” was inappropriate. We meant to say “binding arbitration notice.”
  

Remember: “Errors are the holy stutters of truth.” – B. K. Fenn, unpublished napkin note