Brought to you by Boogie Boy™, broadcasting live from the Safety Dome™.
“Are we not men? We are DEVO!”
“Hey Spuds! It’s Boogie Boy! And I’m here to tell you… IT’S HAPPENING! IT’S REALLY HAPPENING! WHEEEE!”
The Plan is coming together, spuds!
The Blueprint of De-evolution™ is no longer theoretical.
It’s tactile. It’s tactile. You can taste it in your processed food supply.
You can feel it in your Slack-saturated bones.
And if you’re watching this from the inside of your Energy Dome™ good!
Because protection from contamination is critical.
The signals are strong. The patterns are clear.
The leaders are malfunctioning.
The market is convulsing.
Institutions are collapsing like wet paper hats.
The Conspiracy™ doesn’t hide anymore.
It walks upright.
It tweets.
It posts selfies from Coachella.
It sells you a crisis and then markets the antidote as a limited edition subscription box.
They said: “We’ll make America strong again.”
But what they meant was:
“We will deregulate your future and harvest your despair for tax-free capital gains.”
BOOGIE BOY’S SIGNS OF THE TIMES:
- Steel tariffs on friends, hugs for autocrats!
- Cancer research? Canceled!
- School lunches? Rebranded as “optional dietary suffering.”
- The Department of Government Efficiency™ = One billionaire with a spreadsheet and a flamethrower.
- Days that aren’t days, truths that aren’t true, and laws that don’t apply to Elon™.
The Mutation is spreading.
Even Canada is pissed off! That’s how you know!
SPUDS! You’ve been warned for DECADES!
Back in the ‘70s, Bob 1 and Bob 2 saw the glitch in the meat.
General Boy tried to tell your parents.
I tried to warn your kindergarten teacher!
But they just laughed and said,
“Why are those nice boys wearing hazmat suits and warning us about potato-based conformity?”
Well guess what…
The Joke’s on YOU!
Because now the Potato has EYES… and it’s watching.
BUT IT’S NOT TOO LATE!
This is your Wake Up Loop™.
This is your Final Phase.
This is your last chance to duck, cover, and de-program.
You’ve got to:
- Move Forward™. Not backward, not sideways, and never in circles.
- Detect it. Reflect it. Deflect it.
- Resist the easy Slack. The bad Slack. The manufactured Slack™ sold in shrink-wrap and branded with a MAGA flag.
DEVO SCHOOL IS IN SESSION:
Lesson One: “Freedom of choice is what you got. Freedom from choice is what you want.”
Lesson Two: If you consume the Conspiracy’s narrative, you’ll crap out their future.
Lesson Three: The herd is heading toward the cliff. If you don’t want to go with them, grow a second head and look back.
The Mind is a Muscle—Work it or Lose it!
Your brain is software, Spud.
Upgrade it or become obsolete.
The Meatbots are already downloading the Obedience Update v5.0.
You better install the Critical Thinking Patch™ before it’s too late.
We Are All DEVO Now!
That’s not defeatism.
It’s the starting point.
It’s de-construction with intent.
It’s breaking down to build smarter.
It’s scrubbing the gene pool with satire and synths.
So listen close, my little New Traditionalists:
Put on your Domes. Reboot your operating systems.
Detonate your expectations.
And never forget:
“In the Beginning was the Word. And the Word was… “MUTATE!”
Stay alert. Stay weird.
And always remember… the Future is Here, but it’s Wearing a Mask.”
“Good night, Spuds… or is it morning in Amerikkka?”
“Heh-heh-heh… WHEEEEE!”
Be First to Comment